*SPOILER ALERT*
Please only read ahead if you have watched the Bachelorette, or, if you are like us, love spoilers. - You’ve been warned xoxo
EPISODE 11 (Talani)
So we have made it to the final three contenders for Brooke’s heart. Before we begin, I think all three of the finalists left could offer Brooke a very happy life. It's refreshing to see so much potential compared to other seasons. But anyway, let’s get into the recap.
Holly, Darvid and Jamie Lee (J.L) take the reins for the final dates of the season. The idea, Brooke explains, is for them to share with her something she doesn’t already know about them.
Darvid
First up is Darvid. Brooke acknowledges that our Persian Prince has a real calm and comfortable presence. Darvid rocks up to the date in a canoe, potentially trying to show Brooke his ‘adventurous’ side. I am not sure it quite had that effect because it took Brooke back to fondly reminiscing about growing up and having an outdoorsy childhood. Darvid spent an unusual amount of time talking about sourdough. Considering their date wouldn’t have had more than ten minutes of airtime, I really hope this wasn’t the most exciting conversation they had on the day. Is bread an innuendo?
After their peaceful canoe down the river, Brooke and Darvid turn up the heat and skrrt skrrt around on some quad bikes. Darvid really digs Brooke on a quadbike. He’s telling Brooke that he’s not just a safe choice, he has a bad boi streak too. It’s reminding me of Regina George’s “I’m a cool Mom” speech. Brooke and Darvid are so comfortable with each other, Brooke even as him to check for boogers. If that’s not love I don’t know what is. Darvid tells us he thinks he found his person and I couldn’t agree more.
We’ve now reached the infamous ‘intimacy’ scene of the hot tub/pool variety, a true staple of any penultimate episode in the Bachelor Franchise. Brooke is strangely impressed by the champagne as if the producers have been skimping out all season at the cocktail parties. Let’s face it, this doesn’t make for interesting tv but it sure is nice to see Brooke happy and arguably at home. The pair talk about the potential ‘roadblock’ living interstate may be, but it doesn’t seem to be a dealbreaker like it was with Holly… but more on that later.
Jamie-Lee (J.L.)
Bless J.L. J.L. has brainstormed very hard to create a date that Brooke would appreciate, with the collateral objective of dispelling Brooke’s belief that J.L. only likes the “nicer things” in life. (not that there’s anything wrong with that). When you think about it, J.L. hasn’t had too much attention from Brooke this season, bar the whole “Ryan scenario”.
So J.L. has decided to take Brooke on a “little hike” which leads to a clearance where the pair could go “glamping” - combining their two interests. I get that Brooke is the Bachelorette but I can’t help but think it’s a bit unfair that everyone’s sole purpose should be to keep her happy. Relationships should go both ways, but whatever.
J.L. reveals that she’s never put a tent together before and Brooke finds it very endearing. If the sourdough wasn’t an innuendo - Getting. That. Tent. Pitched. Sure was.
Nevertheless, the date felt like it was two best friends vibing more than any sexual or romantic chemistry. When they were sitting by the fire, J.L. tells Brooke she’s falling in love with her and Brooke basically re-enacts that one scene from Star Wars.
Image Souce: Pinterest
While they also talked about some non-negotiables; like having kids, it felt like a conversation between two close friends. Especially after they joked about being “cool” and “hot moms.” And that was that.
Holly
Last time we left things with Holly, things. Were. Not. Good. Brooke was devastated that Holly did not want a big family and Holly was shook that Brooke might want to settle down in Perth… because, well, it’s Perth. While Brooke has said pretty consistently that she wants a “tribe,” Holly has said that when it comes to kids, she wants none or one.
When it comes to Holly’s choice of date, it’s probably not surprising it has something to do with dancing. Especially when we think about how they danced on the red carpet, at the solo photoshoot and their first salsa-dancing date. Holly takes Brooke to the ballet and it’s spectacular. I think it is clear that Brooke is very smitten by Holly - when she looks at her, she looks like she’s melting. The dance they watch is very meaningful for the two. . Generally performed between a man and a woman, but today it’s two women. The dance represents deep connection and intimacy, the dancers don’t touch right until the end.
But when it comes to their own intimacy scene, Regina Spektor’s “All the Rowboats” was basically playing in the background. Holly is in tro-ublle. The two again discuss the whole babies-and-moving to WA sitch. Brooke reacts in anger, a shield for her own hurt and perceived betrayal. But I greatly respect Holly for being honest about it. After all, what’s the alternative? That all of these questions and hard conversations come out after years of dating? I feel like the conversation and Brooke’s approach to it, especially accusing Holly of putting conditions on their relationships, was hypocritical when she was basically doing the same thing. They have only gone on a couple of dates so when could they have really had the opportunity to have these hard-hitting conversations.
Nevertheless, I would say the clear heat emanating from the conversation shows that the two had a very deep connection. But as Holly said, there’s a fine line between compromise and sacrifice and it was clear these hurdles were insurmountable. In the end, Brooke storms off.
There is no rose ceremony and Holly is sent home from the date.
So with the purpose of the date in mind (AKA to show Brooke something new) we learned:
Darvid is more adrenaline-driven and adventurous than bread
J.L. put Brooke on a pedestal yet again
Holly still likes to dance
And with that, it's time to watch the final episode.
** On a positive note, it has since come out that Holly is dating fellow contestant Millie, and I couldn’t be happier for the pair.
It also happens to mean apart from Brooke and our lovely winner (scroll down to see), two other couples have emerged from the Bachelorette (see last week's recap to see Konrad’s new bae). It’s so refreshing to see so many happy endings emerging from the one season!
EPISODE 12 (Lilly)
Welcome one and all to the grand finale of the Bachie, and, as such, our very last recap (sad react!). I don’t know about you but this season seems to have absolutely flown – but that didn’t stop our gal Brookey from having a whirlwind romance!!
Before the grand reveal, our two contestants face one final grilling by two of Brooke’s friends – Amy and Abbie. I am very excited that we get to see Kween Abbie Chatfield on the big screen!!! And I absolutely LOVE that she brings 100% the same energy to the show that she does to her insta stories and Podcasts. During this meeting it’s pretty obvious to both Abbie and Amy that Brooke and Darvid are utterly loved up, with Amy confessing “I have never seen Brooke like that!”.
Amy, being a first nations woman herself, questions Darvid and Jamie Lee about their understanding of Brooke’s culture. Disappointingly, neither of our contestants could tell Amy what country they were on, nor the name of Brooke’s mob. Jamie Lee and Darvid were visibly awkward, and both admitted (rightfully) that they have a lot of learning to do. I’m glad Amy brought their attention to such an integral part of Brooke’s identity, and I am sure the conversation also inspired watchers around Australia to reflect on their own understanding of the stolen land they reside on.
Next we have Jamie Lee’s final date and the two take a helicopter ride before jumping on some bikes. It’s cute, the two are very giggly but there’s not a lot to comment on. Brooke says that she wants a partner who is “like a best friend” but it seems like that is in fact the extent of Brooke and Jamie Lee’s relationship.
Darvid’s final date is definitely verging on NSWF territory as the two engage in a tantric yoga lesson (If Brooke chose the final dates, she is hinting very different things to J.L and Darvid). It involves a lot of skin-to-skin contact and now I know why they saved airing this date til after 8:30pm. Darvid’s shirtless, Brooke is flustered, it’s a lot. I’m not sure if this would be more sexually frustrating (for a couple who are dating but haven’t been allowed to have sex for months) OR awkward as they are getting hot n’ heavy with a camera crew, a tantric sex witch lady AND a national audience watching them verrrry closely.
In Darvid’s intimacy scene he drops the L word and Brooke loses all composure. She tells the camera that she used to think falling in love was just some “woo woo shit” and didn’t believe it was real… but after meeting Darvid, she’s feeling it. She tells us that she also L-words him!!! What??? Before the grand reveal? Well this is awkward for Jamie Lee.
It’s time for the moment of truth and Jamie Lee is the first cab off the rank. If it wasn’t obvious before that Jamie Lee isn’t the winner, the sombre background music sure does confirm it. It’s an extremely emotional exchange and Jamie Lee, while obviously devastated, takes it like an absolute champ. (And can I just mention that she looks absolutely SMOKING in that red dress. Devil vibes – I’m into it.)
We end the season with Brooke confessing her love to Darvid and it’s very sweet and very tear-filled (Brooke manages to cry off her lashes). The two make a very sweet and comfortable couple and it’s so clear that they are deeply into one another. They exchange promise rings, kiss some more and close scene.
Since the finale aired we know that Darvid has cut the umbilical cord and made the move to Melb! The two look very loved up in their new abode.
So with that, we have three happy couples arising from this season, including three out of the final four. So can we get some #justiceforjamielee and make her next year's Bachelorette?